Liberal Arts College Scandal

Liberal Arts College Scandal

Words and Music by John P. Kerns 2002 KernSongs

I had a dream last weekend. I was a Mafia assassin

Sent out to kill your new boyfriend in liberal arts college scandal

He had a letter from you kept with his bag of explosives

I’m sure you said, “Think of me nightly,” and had no idea he worked for a “family”

A push down the stairs was convenient. It couldn’t be this easy, could it?

He lay on his back panting, desperate the silencer fixed on his sweating white forehead

A moment of hesitation… What would you do when you found out?

You’d be so broken and empty. A past lover left you, another was found dead

Would I take this long to consider the hurt and the pain that I’d caused you

While holding a pistol in his face and give a year’s pay to let this one mark live?

You’d live in bliss or in mourning. Would he hunt me down in the morning?

I’d break the code of a killer: to kill or be killed, cause the mob always finds you

A filter of wind swept beside us, and carried your letter in pieces

That I tore up instantly when I found his supplies in the janitor closet

An anguished cry he resounded and clutched in his fist just a corner

Of pink and blue paper with ink and a heart to dot the “I” in “I love you”

A convincing blow to the forehead, the butt of my pistol retorted

Picked up his bag and I headed to the airport to get on a plane to Italia

If I’ll face the music I’ve fashioned, I’ll be in Tuscany’s sunshine

I’ll grow some tomatoes and olives and wait for the college to investigate me

To dig up my chopped up body, or dredge me up from Lago Di Como

And chip off my concrete loafers. In the newspapers you’d read the scandalous details

And maybe not ever know actuality, or see how much I cared for you

But you’re a smart girl and observant. I’m sure you could guess, but the mark may have killed you too